Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Secret revealed! Why Iran is 4 years closer to a bomb after 4 years.
I've consulted with my contacts inside the Pentagon, math teachers, and city planners. I will reveal it to you all.
First, draw out a number line. You're going to need a long one. Ranging from 0 to 2012. So either choose a big space, or choose a small scale. Choose carefully, because the implications of your choice are huge. Do not make this choice lightly.
Now, mark every year on this calendar line with its own hash. Yes, I hate to be pedantic, but 1213 gets its own hash mark. So does 1214. Mark them all. When you get out to 2012, feel free to get out your megaphone, walkie-talkie, whatever.
OK. Take a deep breath. Walk four hash marks back to your "2008" hash mark. How many did you get? (Not to prejudge, but did you get something like "4"?)
Very good. So now we all know how calendars work. And so when Mitt Romney says "four years have passed, and Iran is four years closer to a nuclear bomb," we do all understand that Romney is complaining that Obama doesn't have powers to invoke odd time warps, right?
Seriously. It's as if this asshat Romney is blaming Obama for the inexorable march of time; that Romney is pissed, that in the morning when he looks in the mirror, and he sees his father's face, it's somehow Obama's fault.
Romney can't blame Obama for the fact that 2012 minus 2008 equals 4. Maybe that sells with a few voters. But he's lying to me when he says it. And he can go to hell. And beyond, for using it as a ploy to win an election. This isn't an issue of cheating a customer, this is ascending to the White House. And he's lying out the Wazoo. The implications are huge, not just for our country, but him and his ethics. I hope there is something akin to penance in his religion; he has some atoning to do, whether or not he wins.