Me and Chuck.

Sunday was the occasion of my semi-annual haircut, and this time it coincided with another visit to the same salon from the senior senator from New York. I have crossed his path at this emporium on other occasions, but since the day of the week and time has not been the same, he has suredly altered his schedule so as to avoid my lantern. For all his earnestness in many endeavors, he assuredly knows he screwed up most ingloriuously over invading Iraq, in spite of my vigilance (along with others) outside his apartment. So if he doesn't know he owes me, specifically, he knows he does conceptually.

So here's what I overheard from his cell phone conversation. Because everything is significant. 1, he said "He goes to church."

Here's my take on this: I think he has been in communication with Elvis Presley, after the grave. Elvis loved his mother very much, and Elvis and his mother both attended church. Ergo, he was talking about Elvis. Or maybe Samuel Johnson, who also attended church, except when he didn't.

2, "I'm gonna call Harry." I think this was in reference to the Trashcan Sinatras song "Hayfever," in which the the narrator announces himself: "Hello, I'm Harry." It's a stretch, I know, but when you're on a cell phone in a public place, you're certainly alluding: the emotional isolation of being a political figure in a party where a majority is insufficient, where 41 twits can overrule 59. It makes no sense. It's social isolationism, writ large. So when he was saying he was going to call "Harry," I think this was code. A desperate call-out to a totem, if you will. I just never knew he was such a Trashcan Sinatras fan.

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(DISCLOSURE: I work for Abt SRBI. My company does polling. My opinions should not be construed as representing those of my employer.)